how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book

Referring to our list again. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. Feel better. He told her what he would try to do in the future. But urge them not to be over- anxious, for that might spoil matters. He would probably be insulted if he were called an alcoholic. In the past, Ive seen numbers ranging Drinking isolates most homes from the outside world. Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed. I had no intention of drinking. This should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further. WebBig Book, page 164 While the program is considered a suggested method for dealing with the disease of Alcoholism, there are places within the Big Book where the authors used the word MUST. The following is a list of the 40 Musts from the Big Book. We believe that managers of large enterprises often have little idea how prevalent this problem is. Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter what the subject, it should be the privilege of either to smile and say, This is getting serious. My secretary returned to say that it was not Mr. B- on the phone; it was Mr. B-s brother, and he wished to give me a message. We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. The entire family is, to some extent, ill. Let families realize, as they start their journey, that all will not be fair weather. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. Some time passed, and confidence began to be replaced by cock-sureness. They cannot seem to forgive and forget. And then the book begins to give a solution to God makes that possible. The great boom of the late twenties was seething and swelling. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Live and let live is the rule. In this book you will read the experience of a man who thought he was an atheist. Then perhaps he will be interested enough to continue. This may seem inconsistent, but we think it is not. We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. Starting from a speck on the domestic horizon, great thunderclouds of dispute may gather. Perhaps you both like parties which would be dull without liquor. I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a car at this place, which was familiar for I had been going to it for years. Another feeling we are very likely to entertain is one of resentment that love and loyalty could not cure our husbands of alcoholism. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. Were our contentions true, it would follow that life originated out of nothing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere. He need not, and often should not show it to his alcoholic prospect. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasnt there. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. He said he was perfectly willing to go to jail if she insisted. We become much more efficient. That floored me. These are some of the questions which race through the mind of every woman who has an alcoholic husband. Alcoholics who have derided religious people will be helped by such contacts. Some of us had this experience, only to enjoy, in a few months, a finer intimacy than ever. It stirs his imagination. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Nearly every modern employer feels a moral responsibility for the well-being of his help, and he tries to meet these responsibilities. Ask him what you should do if he places you in such a position again. Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. If we havent the will to do this, we ask until it comes. We had to have Gods help. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. You might let them know you have no quarrel with the alcoholics of your organization. Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider anothers conception of God. Each might pray about it, having the other ones happiness uppermost in mind. For a few days he was depressed about his condition. PO Box 381 No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. The first 164 pages also discuss the differences between a normal drinker, a hard drinker, and a real alcoholic. The chances are he will not for, like yourself, he is just beginning his development. Permit that and you only harm him. Say you do not want to be a wet blanket; that you only want him to take care of his health. After all, your family is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future. Unless ones family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. For did we not believe in our own reasoning? Every few days this doctor suggests our approach to one of his patients. Were nothing left but pure reason, it wouldnt be life. In one western city and its environs there are one thousand of us and our families. He may be more receptive when depressed. Rather vain of us, wasnt it? Use your energies to promote a better understanding all around. Wed hardly be human if we didnt. WebThe First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. Now I had what it takes! Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop. I wondered how he had escaped. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life-or else. We have tried these methods. He now returned home, leaving behind his first acquaintance, the lawyer and the devil-may-care chap. I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Sweet relationships are dead. Your man may be trusted. Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic. Instead of developing new channels of activity for themselves, mother and children demand that he stay home and make up the deficiency. With this attitude you cannot fail. When father takes this tack, the family may react unfavorably. There is talk about spiritual matters morning, noon and night. Our actor is self-centered-ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. I was through forever. Be sure you are not critical during such a discussion. Physically, I felt fine. Now we need more action, without which we find that Faith without works is dead. Lets look at Steps Eight and Nine. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled before they really commence to solve their problems. After a bit, he said, The way you fellows put this spiritual stuff makes sense. After consulting with his wife and partner he came to the conclusion that is was better to take those risks than to stand before his Creator guilty of such ruinous slander. Most of us have entered the final stage with its commitment to health resorts, sanitariums, hospitals, and jails. Arrangements were also made with the chief psychiatrist of a large public hospital to select still others from the stream of misery which flows through that institution. He is the Principal; we are His agents. But we think that if you persevere, the percentage of successes will gratify you. Why was this? They work hard and they play hard. Above all, he believed he had acquired such a profound knowledge of the inner workings of his mind and its hidden springs that relapse was unthinkable. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. That disgusted me. If he feels free to discuss his problems with you, if he knows you under-stand and will not be upset by anything he wishes to say, he will probably be off to a fast start. It may be slowing him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it. We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. He suffered horribly from his sprees, but it seemed as if nothing could be done for him. No St. Helena for me! Sometimes there were screaming delirium and insanity. For example, look up POWERLESS. You may need to encourage him to play once in a while. That is one of mans magnificent attributes. If persisted in for a few months, the effect on a mans family is sure to be great. And then the book begins to give a solution to Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. I wondered whether I dared hide a full bottle of gin near the head of our bed. Your man has probably been trying to conceal a number of scrapes, perhaps pretty messy ones. He should not be made a favorite. Of course our friend was wrong-dead wrong. I became an unwelcome hanger-on at brokerage places. If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He talked for hours. If your man accepts your offer, it should be pointed out that physical treatment is but a small part of the picture. So our fellow worker will soon have friends galore. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Most editors wouldnt recommend going over 80,000, as it will inspire bad taste among readers. Cheerfully see him through more sprees. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! In another case, an alcoholic was sent to a hospital for treatment. Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation, hurt feelings and resentments. And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable. But sometimes our drinking will be used politically. Come, whats this all about? I queried. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little financial assistance. If we keep on the way we are going there is little doubt that much good will result, but the surface of the problem would hardly be scratched. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. The slightest sign of fear or intolerance may lessen your husbands chance of recovery. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon. Then you and your husband can get right down to fundamentals. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. It hadnt even come to mind. Instead of treating the family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing. WebThese are the changes that have been made in the program portion of the Big Book (the first 164 pages and the roman numeraled pages) since it was first published on April 10, 1939. Having been neglected and misused in the past, they think father owes them more than they are getting. Average novel word counts are generally around 85,000 but they can range from 50,000 to 120,000. He has hired and fired hundreds of men. Nonsense. Circumstances made him willing to believe. He begins to think life doesnt treat him right. It seems to cause more trouble. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. There will be alluring shortcuts and by-paths down which they may wander and lose their way. Those of us who travel drop in as often as we can. Each day my friends simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. Out came his carpet slippers and a bottle. No one is too discredited or has sunk too low to be welcomed cordially-if he means business. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. Naturally this sort of thing decreased the mans chance of recovery. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. Maybe he is beginning to lose his friends. This means a new attitude and spirit all around. A better way of life will emerge when they are overcome. But is it? That being so you have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. I had commenced to drink as carelessly as though the cocktails were ginger ale. They were deeply religious people, much shocked by their sons refusal to have anything to do with the church. Hes just beaten up a couple of nurses. We never argue this question. Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. A Fifth Edition of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, be developed, including an update of stories to better reflect current membership, keeping in mind the 1995 Advisory Action that: The first 164 pages of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, the Preface, the Forewords, The Doctors Opinion, Dr. I have seen hundreds of families set their feet in the path that really goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all sorts wiped out. You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. Web164 and More has 660 pages and is physically about the same size as a hardcover Big Book. Instead, we looked at the human defects of these people, and sometimes used their shortcomings as a basis of wholesale condemnation. Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. We were grateful that Reason had brought us so far. We have shown how we got out from under. In a weak moment he may take your dislike of his high-stepping friends as one of those insanely trivial excuses to drink. Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem. On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. There had been no real infidelity, for loyalty to my wife, helped at times by extreme drunkenness, kept me out of those scrapes. Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery! Let the alcoholic continue his program day by day. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. At such moments we forget that alcoholism is an illness over which we could not possibly have had any power. The experiment went so well that I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. You do not know what to tell the children. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. This is sometimes a mistake. Though his family be at fault in many respects, he should not be concerned about that. Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself when he had the extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man. This is perhaps difficult-especially discussing our defects with another person. These family talks will be constructive if they can be carried on without heated argument, self-pity, self-justification or resentful criticism. From what you tell me, I know more than ever I cant stop. At this both the visitors burst into a laugh. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. Do not contradict such views. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. So we used our own conception, however limited it was. Much moved, I wandered outside. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. The family may object to this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it. It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferers. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We reviewed our fears thoroughly. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink. It was so baffling, so heartbreaking. Your man should be on his mettle to make good. There are many. Perhaps it is going to be that way with you. When others showed us that God-sufficiency worked with them, we began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly. You can see that he really does love you with his better self. Many of our husbands were just as far gone. It is not to be expected that an alcoholic employee will receive a disproportionate amount of time and attention. It is probably true that you and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic. But it isnt so difficult. Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. Nor are we afraid of disclosing our alcoholism on the theory it may cause financial harm. When his wife next calls saying he is sick, you might jump to the conclusion he is drunk. Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. That is the miracle of it. At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. Let him decide for himself. This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. This means trouble, unless the family watches for these tendencies in each other and comes to a friendly agreement about them. The more hopeless he feels, the better. He had stepped from bridge to shore. We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake about that. There they were told that the book would probably be only about four hundred pages when printed. The most common rule for a memoir is that it should not go more than 80,000 words. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. It is not good for him, and it sometimes creates serious complications in a family. Ive prayed to God on hangover mornings and sworn that Id never touch another drop but by nine oclock Id be boiled as an owl., Next day found the prospect more receptive. In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. Whenever you want to, you control your drinking. There is every evidence that women regain their health as readily as men if they try our suggestions. I still expected a plea for clemency, but these words came through the receiver: I just wanted to tell you Paul jumped from a hotel window in Hartford last Saturday. They struck the children, kicked out door panels, smashed treasured crockery, and ripped the keys out of pianos. Get him to tell some of his. Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. He will use that as an excuse to drink more. We have tried every imaginable remedy. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. Maybe it will prove a blessing! That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. Perhaps he can still tend to business fairly well. Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. I had discharged him for drinking six weeks before. The wives and children of such men suffer horribly, but not more than the men themselves. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. Can you have every confidence in his ability to recover? We read wordy books and indulge in windy arguments, thinking we believe this universe needs no God to explain it. But it was a silly idea that we were too good to need God. He lost the race by only a narrow margin. This may seem severe, but it is usually the best course. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. The curve of my declining moral and bodily health fell off like a ski-jump. Still the play does not suit him. You might suggest that you both take an interest in them. Yet they got well. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long way from admitting that he could do nothing about it himself. My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their problems. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Tell him exactly what happened to you. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them. Moreover, he would lose his family for whom he had a deep affection. How much did these feelings, these loves, these worships, have to do with pure reason? We gave up our positions and off we roared on a motorcycle, the sidecar stuffed with tent, blankets, a change of clothes, and three huge volumes of a financial commission should be appointed. They will always materialize if we work for them. We landed in England. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. You have passed happy evenings together chatting and drinking before your fire. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me-and He came. Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Liquor caught up with me much faster than I came up behind Walter. He is undoubtedly on the road to recovery. Doctors may shake their heads and advise you to have him committed. Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. So to you out there-who may soon be with us-we say Good luck and God bless you!. Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. We know of an A.A. member who was living in a large community. If, on the other hand, they took nothing, their self-pity made them killjoys. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism. It is important that he be able to keep a confidence; that he fully understand and approve what we are driving at; that he will not try to change our plan. Of course that isnt so, and such people often may impose on you. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along. Then I went on a prodigious bender, and that chance vanished. He has been placed in one institution after another. In no time I was beating on the bar asking myself how it happened. If we have no such complication, there is plenty we should do at home. About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type. Being a large place, we think that some day its Fellowship will number many hundreds. If he temporizes and still thinks he can ever drink again, even beer, he might as well be discharged after the next bender which, if an alcoholic, he is almost certain to have. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. You ask, because many alcoholics, being warped and drugged, do not want to quit. Type the first few characters of your word-of-interest into the search box in the upper right corner. We dont worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. You may think this an extreme case. To me these occurrences are phenomena. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Without you he would have gone to pieces long ago. WebSo Bill and Hank Parkhurst (The Unbeliever in the first edition) went to Cornwall to see Blackwell. The spiritual life is not a theory. He will be at the jumping-off place. Here is one. You will thus get a better idea of how you ought to proceed. By the time I had completed the course, I knew the law was not for me. We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets. A Better Approach to Mental Health & Addiction Recovery. In time we sailed for Over There. I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol. This is all to the good. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk! I told him he was through-finally and forever. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the worlds troubles on our shoulders. Hearts are broken. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. If his mood is light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades. When ready, we say something like this: My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. Dad may feel that for years his drinking has placed him on the wrong side of every argument, but that now he has become a superior person with God on his side. In competent hands, this seldom takes long nor is it very expensive. The wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea,mvoicing it without reservation. Back of them is a world of ignorance and misunderstanding. And so I did. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. We told him what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we had found. A spiritual experience, he conceded, was absolutely necessary, but the price seemed high upon the basis suggested. If he can afford it, he may have liquor concealed all over his house to be certain no one gets his entire supply away from him to throw down the wastepipe. That was not easy. They have a new attitude, and they have been saved from a living death. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. 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Financial assistance the basis suggested simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a community! All the earnestness at our command, we ask until it comes book we.

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