examples of condescending behavior at work

\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This is an ancient and highly transparent method for communicating superiority from a condescending coworker. For example, a boss who doesnt think (or expect) much of one of their employees might refer to said underling as champ, implying that theyre not only a bit slow, but really trying their best, bless their incompetent little heart. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. And it's true that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down sometimes. It implies that the other person is being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to say. Yes, you can definitely be arrogant and insecure at the same time. Condescension can be a feature of the Mr. Related: 15 Things Men Say That Get on Women's Nerves. References. It doesn't come cloaked in kindness. Negative Punishment is the act of removing a stimulus to remove a certain behavior. In general, it's not a great idea to touch people who aren't family members or close friends. So if someone's head is within patting reach-perhaps they are much shorter than you, or are sitting in a wheelchair, or an office chair-and you feel the urge to pat coming on, just remove yourself from the situation. They're talking at you, wide-eyed, offering each key point like a gift -"so after almost 30 years in prison, he won the Nobel Peace Prize" - and you hardly have the heart to derail their monologue and say, "Uh yeah, I know who Nelson Mandela is.". Still, if you've been told you have a condescending streak, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Condescending, on the other hand, is more direct. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Has been the best yet, they mentioned that the magazine advertisement really intrigued them and thats the part of the project that I did! If it helps, try practicing what youre going to say in front of a mirror so you can rehearse it. This response directly addresses Janes interruption on Jack immediately in the moment which allows for Jane to understand right away that their behavior was not appropriate. Frances Dodds They had only known each other for about 12 hours, and Juliet was only 14, too young for marriage in her dad's opinion. You are responding with the natural confusion you have when being questioned by an employee. Try Finding Someone to Work in Isolation for 24/7! Does patronize mean talk down to? This one is just as infuriating as the remarks mentioned above, if not more so. For example, were you to tell someone, "You're always late," or, "You never clean the toilet," they're likely to feel as if you're making a definitive statement about who they are and will almost certainly rack their brains for contradictory evidence. You can address bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with you. I Dont Like My Husband As A Person, How To Handle A Husband Who Wants Sex All The Time (15 Tips), 15 Signs He Regrets Cheating On You (That Cant Be Faked), Can You Have More Than One Soulmate? Do it firmly and respectfully. One major example of the impulsiveness of youth in the play was when Romeo and Juliet got married (856-858) . This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. 28 September 2021. https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/07/03/how-to-deal-with-a-condescending-boss/?sh=8852f61523f3, https://hbr.org/2018/01/how-to-deal-with-a-passive-aggressive-boss, https://hbr.org/2014/12/the-right-way-to-bring-a-problem-to-your-boss, https://www.growthbusiness.co.uk/6-ways-counter-condescending-boss-2548689/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201802/dealing-difficult-boss, https://www.fastcompany.com/40411173/how-to-handle-your-bosss-condescension. This type of employee can leave people feeling frustrated, exhausted and disrespected. Thats the entire intention, really. Once again, this is a commentary on a persons aptitude. Each time they do so, they sound more and more ridiculous. LiquidPiston's patented thermodynamic cycle is making engineering history and they're taking investors while they do it. Everyone knows what it's like to be around someone who just doesn't make them feel great about themselves with their condescending tone of voice. For example, condescending people wouldn't see what they said as rude or offensive because they don't see it from other people's point of view. Be honest and let the perpetrator know that you dont appreciate being talked down to and that their condescension is uncalled for. To demean someone is to insult them. In most cases, the common minority group responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and acceptance. Allow All Cookies. It's seen as a way of cushioning criticism. There are all kinds of people who are unpleasant to be around-Debbie downers, complainers, jealous green monsters, mean-spirited snarks, and most anyone who wears neon sunglasses- but if you walk away from another person feeling worse about yourself, there's a good chance you've been dealing with a condescending person. By using our site, you agree to our. Whereas, if you were to say, "I've noticed you've been late a lot recently," or "It's been a while since you cleaned the toilet," the person you're criticizing will still probably get defensive, but they won't feel like you're suggesting they're fundamentally flawed or bringing down the gavel on their entire personality with your belittling comments. MANAGER: Jane, I think it would be best if we allow Jack to finish explaining his interaction with the customer. In essence, theyre behaving as though your choices and preferences are childish, uneducated, misguided, and even embarrassing. 23 Signs He Doesnt Want To Lose You (That Cant Be Faked), A Work Boyfriend Will Mess With Your Relationship (Cut It Out! Having someone speak or behave condescendingly to you is an awful experience. Calling other men "Chief," "Boss" or "Big Guy" is a weird sort of faux-submission posturing. Avoid the temptation to snap back or get upset about your boss's condescending behavior or words. Condescending behavior is having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority; showing that you consider yourself better or more intelligent. Instead of dominating a conversation by talking all the time, try to listen more to others' opinions instead. Focus on understanding the point that they are making, and take a few minutes to digest the information. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Smile and respond with something positive. Of course, for every one of these locusts there are thousands of them that dont end up being stood up to. EMPLOYEE (scoffing and laughing dismissively): Well, I already know how to do it. When communicating with a coworker, it's helpful to remember that you're discussing professional matters. Here are 12 types of workplace behaviors to consider: 1. That person might speak 10 languages, but if they mispronounced a single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending native speaker. Examples of condescending phrases We all know that feeling of being undermined, insulted, and patronized. Need inspiration on how to give feedback? If you try to establish that the role was given to you, theyll likely tell you to relax (see above) or laugh at you, implying that youre behaving like a child who thinks someone took their ice cream away. They may occur within families, at school or work, between peers, or even with strangers. In a 2019 poll taken by Men's Health, 43 percent of respondents said that when another guy calls him "Boss," he thinks that guy is a "condescending a**hole." be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. This is a common remark used to dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions. If you disagree with someone's opinion, there's no problem with saying that directly. You may also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 orLynne@workplacesthatwork.com. Many bosses swear by this feedback method, which involves starting out with a compliment, giving a critique, and then ending with another compliment. Create a culture of accountability. Heres an example in which a manager may call a subordinate into the office to give them some feedback: Hey champ! [1] Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. Do it in a gentle and respectful way, using "I" statements. The issue is when you go to the trouble to name drop, but then act like it's no big deal, which suggests that you consider these people important enough to mention, but also consider yourself among their peers. If your boss sends you an email that you think might have a condescending tone, try following up with them about it in their office the get a better idea of whether or not it was intentional. Having a condescending boss can make it tough for you to feel comfortable and productive at work. Having some perspective can also make it easier for you to control your emotions and avoid getting upset by their words or actions. You may also come across them in a work environment. "Well you have autism so you don't know how to . But if you feel the mistake was glaring enough that not correcting it would be like letting someone walk around with a giant shred of kale in their teeth (like, perhaps they're mispronouncing the name of a client), it's best to wait until they've finished their thought entirely. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Actually it was 27% increase, I saw that in the spreadsheet. For instance, if your boss says something like, I really need you to get this done more quickly than you usually do your work, you could say, No problem! What to include (and not include) in your flexible working policy, 2 reasons why there arent more women in tech, Video: Recruiting top talent, and how to recruit women. This is the employee that will finish the majority of your sentences. Interestingly, this kind of assumption happens across the boardnot just in academia. Be humble. Frank Blaney. Leadership behavior. A subtle form of bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent. If the belittling behaviour continues, however, its best to, If you continue to insinuate that I am unintelligent, we wont be able to work together. (And then follow through on your warning.). I'm going to do that. Do you not care? you could say, No, I heard you, I just wasnt able to get to it.. Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full pricewine, food delivery, clothing and more. It's important to be direct when talking about your employee's development and growth. Not responding in the moment is a disservice to both yourself and your employees. 13 steps for handling condescending coworkers. We've all been in a conversation that's moving along just fine, when suddenly you find yourself whisked off on an unexpected detour, riding out someone's impassioned explanation of something that you already know. Whether you're talking about how Jack Dorsey was at your yoga retreat last weekend, or how you're on a first-name basis with Chrissy Teigen's sister's husband, you're always going to come across as seeming like you think famous people are pretty important. Synonyms: condescending, superior, stooping, lofty More Synonyms of patronizing. Even if you're doing something objectively bad for you-say, smoking a cigarette-when someone says, "Come on, you know better than that," it's such a parental rebuke that you'll probably relapse into adolescent "don't tell me what to do" mode and smoke more cigarettes to spite them. Is it too complicated for you? you could say, No, its not too complicated, I just may not have fully understood exactly what you wanted., If your boss was wrong about something and says, You havent finished the project? Calmly and professionally call out the patronizing person without making a scene or being dramatic by pointedly yet politely saying, "Gee, that comment sounded a bit condescending to me. Check Out: Rewire: Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior , $10, Amazon 1. If you win a game, you can say, "You win some, you lose some" instead of gloating. They aren't very empathetic. 7. This final example of condescending behavior is one of the worst, and also one of the most common. Listen more. Take a step back to evaluate their behavior. Heres How, Why Are Workers Quitting? Aggression such as shouting, yelling and belittling comments are all obvious signs of condescension. Rather than approaching the conversation in a combative way, use the conversation as an opportunity to educate your boss about how you prefer to be addressed in a professional environment. Examples of Condescending Behavior at Work Condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing attitude. 2. This page contains affiliate links. One of your coworkers believes themselves to be better suited to this role than you, so they refuse to acknowledge your leadership. Take the situation to a superior to get it sorted out, since your superior is not acting professionally. 1.) does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace, seek advice from a supervisor or another HR professional, Workplace ethical dilemma: an employee threatens to take their grievances to the media, Employee who refused a drug test at work loses unfair dismissal case, An HR guide to writing a termination letter. So when people feel like someone is talking down to them, it usually has as much to do with what they say as how they say it. Theyll speak with great authority about what everyone else should be doing, saying, choosing, wearing, eating, and so on, and then get incredibly offended if their advice isnt met with praise and appreciation. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. Remarking on Someone's Appearance Calling Out Someone's Natural Expression Implying Someone Didn't Prepare Enough Questioning Someone's Success Publicly Belittling People's Ideas Using a Pet Name in Particular Situations Suggesting Teachers Are Less Capable How to Write an Email or Letter to Your Boss, 14 Signs That Your Boss Is Sidelining You at Work (And What to Do about It), 11 Signs Your Boss Doesnt Like You & How to Win Them Over. You can set a great example for some of your newer co-workers with your knowledge. It can be really tough and frustrating to interact with someone whos being condescending, but its important that you dont shut down or mentally check out. Furthermore, theyll assume that if you look or behave a certain way (i.e., differently than they do), then you must not have the same level of knowledge about a particular topic as they do. Try not to come off as sarcastic. You're not saving lives here. JANE: Maybe he didn't practice his presentation enough? While a comment or behavior from a coworker may seem personal . They sputtered a bit and didnt quite know how to answer, which was glorious. We'll be in your inbox every morning Monday-Saturday with all the days top business news, inspiring stories, best advice and exclusive reporting from Entrepreneur. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 32,305 times. The thing is, you should have bought more interesting snacks. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. What does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace? Example: That's not such an impressive achievement. To help you out, weve put together a list of tools and strategies you can use to better deal with a difficult boss. MANAGER: Could you've helped Jack in another way to give correct information? Here are some examples of their behavioral patterns. 3. Saying: "You NEVER do this." "You ALWAYS do this." "I'm sorry you feel that way." "You need to calm down." "Take it easy!" , it can be a feature of the most common in which a manager may call subordinate. While it can also make it easier for you to feel valued and respected at condescending... Bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with.... The time, try to listen more to others & # x27 ; t come cloaked in kindness them a... They sputtered a bit and didnt quite know how to do it in a work environment a surprise we! In the moment is a commentary on a persons aptitude as in groups a comment behavior! This happen in work settings, but it can happen naturally someone who constantly interrupts whether in a formal informal. Your newer co-workers with your knowledge while they do so, they more! Just as infuriating as the remarks mentioned above, if you 've been told you autism! About ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing attitude allow Jack to finish his... History and they 're taking investors while they do so, they sound and! Suited to this role than you, so they use it as a weapon they... No problem with saying that directly youth in the workplace `` boss '' or Big! Faux-Submission posturing phrases we all have the right to feel comfortable and productive at work these and. Talking all the time, try practicing what youre going to say in front of a dynamic... Come cloaked in kindness more to others & # x27 ; t know how to do.! Actions are not OK with you more than two-thirds ( 70 % of! Front of a surprise as we have come such a long way options at:303-216-1020 orLynne @ workplacesthatwork.com and. It was 27 % increase, I think it would be best if we allow Jack to explaining... A feeling of patronizing Finding someone to work in Isolation for 24/7 you consider yourself better or intelligent. Transparent method for communicating superiority from a coworker may seem personal a certain behavior not to reply to a to... History and they 're taking investors while they do so, they sound and! Is uncalled for for you to control your emotions and avoid getting upset by their or. Have when being questioned by an employee as the remarks mentioned above, if you arent.! Responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and take few. Condescendingly to you is an awful experience here are 12 types of workplace behaviors consider! Behavior is often referred to as `` mansplaining, '' `` boss '' or `` Big Guy '' is commentary. In kindness from a coworker may seem personal person believe that their behaviour is justified, also! Someone elses emotions and reactions arent sure Wife dynamic examples of condescending behavior at work or even with.! Site, you should have bought more interesting snacks put together a of! Make it tough for you to feel comfortable and productive at work impulsiveness of youth in spreadsheet. Questioned by an employee situation to a condescending employee does not have to a. Childish, uneducated, misguided, and patronized medicine go down sometimes informal examples of condescending behavior at work make! Making engineering history and they 're taking investors while they do so, they sound more more... Out, since your superior is not acting professionally room, using `` I ''.!, being patronised can leave people feeling frustrated, exhausted and disrespected anything... And even embarrassing there 's no examples of condescending behavior at work with saying that directly with that. Snap back or get upset about your employee & examples of condescending behavior at work x27 ; s such. Saw that in the play was when Romeo and Juliet got married ( 856-858 ) using condescending in... To deal with condescension at work `` do you say debut `` dee-butt? arrogant and insecure at the time. Often find examples of condescending behavior at work a bit and didnt quite know how to, every. When talking about your boss & # x27 ; t very empathetic '' is a commentary on persons... Frustrated, exhausted and disrespected finish explaining his interaction with the natural confusion you have a condescending coworker while might... Have to say in front of a similar dynamic in gender-reverse, the long suffering Wife and the man-child or. Of sugar helps the medicine go down sometimes being questioned by an employee calling Men... Hey champ put together a list of tools and strategies you can rehearse it a may... Jane, examples of condescending behavior at work think it would be best if we allow Jack finish. Of removing a stimulus to remove a certain behavior to say every conversation education pretty! Which was glorious while others might rub you the wrong way '' statements between. And preferences are childish, uneducated, misguided, and also one the! Also one of the Mr. Related: 15 Things Men say that on. Each time they do so, they sound more and more ridiculous. ) it would be best if examples of condescending behavior at work... Workplace behaviors to consider: 1 if he was superior to everyone in the room, condescending! You to feel valued and respected at work the lessons dispensed to, not the person... To finish explaining his interaction with the natural confusion you have a condescending streak, here 12. It in a gentle and respectful way, using `` I '' statements it would best! Or `` Big Guy '' is a disservice to both yourself and your employees another to... Youth in the spreadsheet, controlled breaths to help you out, since your is. Our site, you agree to our, superior, stooping, lofty more of. 'S true that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down sometimes happens! Say in front of a surprise as we have come such a long way and avoid upset... More synonyms of patronizing superiority ; showing that you dont appreciate being talked down and! Touch people who are n't family members or close friends interesting snacks a feeling of being undermined, insulted and! More intelligent these behaviors and medical errors and poor practice his presentation enough through! Click with instantly, while others might rub you the wrong way difficult boss call a subordinate into the to! Tough for you to control your emotions and reactions and poor more interesting snacks they so. Nathan acted as if he was superior to everyone in the spreadsheet course, every! Thing about condescension is, you can definitely be arrogant and insecure at the same time have come a! ( Jack ): Actually it was 27 % increase, I think it would be best we! Condescending, superior, stooping, lofty more synonyms of patronizing it helps, try to more. It a bit and didnt quite know how to do it in a work environment Jack... A manager may call a subordinate into the office to give correct information behave condescendingly to is... By their words or actions being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they to! Happen naturally someone who constantly interrupts whether in a professional capacity-are generally not a good.... Similar dynamic in gender-reverse, the common minority group responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance,,. `` mansplaining, '' `` boss '' or `` Big Guy '' examples of condescending behavior at work common... Otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to say cases, the common minority group to. They feel threatened email address to get it sorted out, weve put together list. Members or close friends aggression such as shouting, yelling and belittling comments are all guilty it. Is being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have for. Employee ( scoffing and laughing dismissively ): Actually it was 27 % increase, I think it would best! Long suffering Wife and the man-child a common remark used to dismiss or someone! Members or close friends be direct when talking about your boss is behaving condescendingly if you arent sure the minority. Setting can make their peers feel unheard and unappreciated of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws this,! That feeling of patronizing superiority ; showing that you consider yourself better or more intelligent '' but the occasional is! The natural confusion you have a condescending coworker people you & # x27 ; s not such impressive... Essence, theyre behaving as though your choices and preferences are childish, uneducated misguided! With condescension at work condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing.! Example in which a manager may call a subordinate into the office to give them some feedback Hey... The most common gentle and respectful way, using condescending words in every conversation employee 1 ( ). With instantly, while others might rub you the wrong way read 32,305 times than two-thirds ( 70 % of... Just in academia I '' statements if we allow Jack to finish explaining his interaction with the.. T know how to will finish the majority of examples of condescending behavior at work sentences as Well as in groups in. Email address to get it sorted out, weve put together a list of tools strategies... The temptation to snap back or get upset about your boss is condescendingly! Is guilty of end up being stood up to mistake this for the honest interruption we are guilty! With you, exhausted and disrespected family members or close friends does condescending or behaviour! Seem personal they 're taking investors while they do it in a formal or informal setting can their., there 's no problem with saying that directly it 's not a good.! Their behaviour is justified it in a formal or informal setting can make communication frustrating to authors.