my girlfriend is dragging me down
My sleep have been deprived for over 6 months. Now I am questioning myself whether to leave her or hold her.whether she ll feel better later on if I suppose leave her. Hey i am in a LDR and i need your help my gf is also depressed, she doesnt tell the stuff she is going through, yea she tells me most of the things but not that. She also started to talk about other guys and how they were getting close to her (which i actually found out the guys she was talking about liked her aswel) but when i ask her to not do anything misleading with them, she started arguing with me and saying i wasnt trusting her. You tend to put blame on you, stop doing this. Dear Shady, Tell her its either you or the ex, no friendships either. This girl was everything I wanted, such a good partner, listener, so smart, sensitive. Because of my own childhood, and my moms depression as a kid, I reflexively push her away when she gets very depressed, and have trouble acknowledging what shes going through. Im not saying what will happen, only what very possibly can. All rights reserved. You wrote my experience in such a clear and concise manner, that I never thought I would encounter. Setup Type: Offline Installer / Full Standalone Setup. She probably wants you to make a call. The most important thing to find is courage to say goodbye because if you dont then say goodbye to your soul . Im more bummed cause were not having as much sex as Id like. After a year of being together i started to talk about how bad our sexlife and that it has changed, her reply was always that im comparing this to things i read on the internet and that what we had before is considered honeymoon period. At the end of the relationship, she finally started seeing a psychologist who believes she shouldnt be in a relationship. It was me rationalising my emotions. She might miss you. My gf & I have been dating for only five months. It bothers me a lot and Ive done all I could to understand. This then gives my anxiety about getting erectile dysfunction. I almost lost my identity and values. Dont worry too much about your girlfriend saying that you shouldnt talk to her anymore. Yes, "envier" is a word. Please keep in mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory. ago Welcome to r/dating_advice! I compared myself with healthy happy laughing girls that my boyfriend meet everyday. Do something romantic. Ching, I thank the universe for you, and you for your response. So tell someone, it wont just save her life, but also yours. I agree,lately all this summer my girlfriend has been constantly depressed because of her ex,her and her ex recently started talking as friends and he keeps hurting her and its bringing her mood down,and she tells me everything that happens. And dwelling in the state of permanent not-understanding-what-is-going-on is no option. I dont know if you know Jesus, and sorry if I sound like a religious nutcase now but Im really trying to help you. You might also want to look for a caretakers support group. In the end of the year, she have changed her medications, on new years eve I gave her weed for the first time, she had a crisis, disappeared and the suddenly left me, told me very harsh and humiliating things, I was totally broken. I think it is a complicated thing close relationships on one hand you are sharing everything on the other sometimes you cant tell some truths, because you feel like you gonna hurt someone. There is so many thoughts and circumstances for a girl. You have to start working on it, push things forward. Or are they falling back into a state where they feel they are most comfortable. Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. Everyday is a battle. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. My boyfriend is like this, before I met him I was very depressed, self harmed, tried taking my own life but one day I met him I felt instantly happy I never felt this, however he left me for his ex girlfriend and I felt hopeless again. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you. THIS MORNING WITH ALL YOUR WEIGHT TIED TO MY NECK AND YOUR DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN I GOT . Break up. Hi guys And one last thing, she really wants to be again successful, beautiful, smart, witty, and attractive for you more than anything else. I have honoured her decision to sort this out alone. Yesterday night she told me she was sleeping at 8:00pm but i checked my other app that we text on cuz i like looking back at text messages and i see her active but talking to someone else she was talking to her best friend who also has depression and i thought she was cheating on me, so i asked her if she is and said no, i got upset about that and i kept asking her stuff but didnt reply, on a text she told me that her and her best friend are going thru depression rn and says that it bothers that i think about her 24/7, how could i not cuz she is not telling me stuff and i try to offer help and say i will be there for her but she i guess she doesnt want my help, anyways she also told me not to talk to her anymore. She wont tell me whats going on. You wish your sex like was more active, but hate being the one to initiate. I thought she was the woman of my life, that I would do anything for her and I would but she simply doesnt want. A few months ago she began self harming, and I apparently did something to upset her and she started talking about how she was going to commit suicide because of it. It drives me nuts when she sleeps all day. 1992 - Video directed by Dani Jacobs. To lower the quality, character, or value of something or someone: His disruptions are dragging down the performance of the other students. I have a feeling I might just kill myself if this goes on. https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. Especially when theyre attractive they can just bounce around from bf to bf. Being long-distance, you are actually BETTER OFF than if you were local! does anyone have any pointers or ideas? This is important: I have to tell you you will not find the cure, you can be there and support but please stop believing that it will make the problem go away. Hi everyone Or maybe it's because your partner is jealous, or mean, or absent. Copyright 2007 - 2023 GoodTherapy, LLC. Like: if he was carrying better for me I would not feel ugly, stupid etc, if he would really love me I wouldnt feel useless etc. Kind regards, The GoodTherapy Team, Im going through a similar thing, Ive been with my girlfriend for 4 years, shes been through childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, shes friendly when normal, considerate of others, respects me, whenever theres an emotional issue , though not my fault, she became destructive, recklessly destroyed everything she could see, started to be indifferent to me, aloof, aggressive, self-harm, said a lot of negative things, i love her i tried meditating and Self hypnosis to deceive my emotions, I dont know what to do, I dont know how long I can hold on, Im afraid Im really broken, it will hurt everyone. She will need manpower to make the move happen. I hate her anxiety. From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. She did not want to fight, and when I thought finally thing would become better, she just said that she did not have time or energy to focus on the relationship, and wanted to focus on herself. I know thats going to be the final solution to all this, but is there anything anyone else could recommend? Do you guys fight all the time? You deserve to be happy as well. We are thinking of you and wishing you and your partner the very best! My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. So its what you make of it. I feel you. The ex shouldnt even be in the equation. Dont worry youre not alone! The GoodTherapy.org Team is not qualified to offer professional advice, but we encourage you to reach out. I was two years out watching movie series to help me distract while I forced myself to eat. She always wants sex and if she doesnt get it on unreasonable terms (ie i have been travelling for 3 hours, working for 8 and also hit the gym and house work and just want to sleep on the odd day) she will fight to 3am. Driving me to the point where my own happiness is at an all time low. Thanks for your testimony Ching. I have been with my girlfriend long distance for over a year now. Sam is just absolute right, Ive been with the same girlfriend for 8 years, helping her to cope with her anxiety and depression, which are not mild, in return I became a cranky, fearful and highly depressed individual, as soon as she moved in with me the symptoms became severe and everything was somehow my fault, even though we always lived under my expense (before at my parents, now at a house that i pay for literally everything) shes not willing to work or do anything, she always finds an excuse why something wont work out (she has a doctors degree, and she can do a lot of things with that particular degree she simply refuses to always citing some excuse about how its never going to work). All I could do is be the best boyfriend a girl could have. I have a problem and cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar to mine. But she keeps going back to him for friendship,what the eff am I for her now? When I feel she is back to her slump again I back off and do my own thing for awhile. It truly could be your relationship that's to blame. I know that you wnat to help but it doesnt really sound like you are getting the things that you need out of this sort of relationship anymore. Medication treats symptoms, but it doesnt address all of the problems that often underlie depression. I'm just not the same. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Relationships take a lot of work, and both people need to be willing to put in the effort. Her aggression and fights are only there to tell you that she needs help, and help in this case is outside you two therapy, friends, new experiences. My girlfriend and me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month. I looked it up. Official HD video of Dragging Me Down. And at the current time, I feel stretched thin with everything going around me since everyone needs me there for them, along with being there for myself. Recently I have many more commitments and as a result I no longer have the time to reassure her all the time, and her depression has gotten much worse. I have tried to leave her but she threatens to end her life and goes absolutely bonkers. To pull something or someone from a higher to a lower position: She dragged down the boxes from the attic. Should I just except it and appreciate the five minutes we talk a day? These people are emotionally selfish they may not do it on purpose but they will take away everything that defines you and then you will be a empty shell . you're being dragged down by your partner, suddenly feel yourself worrying constantly, the balance between sleep and wakefulness, leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. Hey, lately iv been feeling more and more distant from my gf. Shawna Potter) Jim Ward. But you're dragging me down, yeah. Good Luck Everyone. My partner has depression and anxiety and this year everything on his side of life started crumbling; family, job, friends, self-esteem, personal projects. My girlfriend of 6 months began declining about a month ago. Your story is pretty much identical to mine. I love her a lot, I just miss her old caring cuddly self! As Dr. Sylvie Stacy said on Livestrong.com, "The most common headache catalyzed by anger is the tension headache. Totally agree with your comment. She doesnt want to leave me either, because if she does she says she will kill herself. She practically has no job and no home and fails to do anything about this. i truely love her, she doesnt know if she loves me because she is so caught up with her shit. It seems like she doesnt want me around, but also states she has never been this open to anyone before. She can realize what she lost later and change then, or they can do something dramatic which will be out of your hand anyways. We started dating a few months after the divorce and (I admit we could have been more responsible of our actions) she is now pregnant with our first child. Im talking about Yeshua, the son of the God of Israel. Ive been there, multiple times. Turned my life around to protect, provide, keep her problems a secret to everyone when its blatant I was hidding something to them and for her to just throw it all there from the massive effort I put it. THAT IS PROVEN IN PSYCHOLOGY. It's to the point where her depression is dragging me down with her, though I would never say that to her. Here are a few signs that the guy you're with is leaving you depressed. Recently, she insulted both my mother and I in her home. im so torn and she suggested friends with benefits because we still show each other we care and shit by being friends at school and stuff, then casual hook ups and hanging out, basically dating. Life was perfect. Can we all agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and most definitely "good? I have high blood pressure because of her. The reason I feel it's dragging me down is that my girlfriend's mother has always been extremely disrespectful to me. He left 6 months ago when I asked him to leave for my sake not his after I was signed off work with depression there was no support for me and because of his lack of attitude with dealing day to day.