dirty minded comebacks

I ignored you the first time. Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone. "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." After all, you have inferiority! People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege! People say that you are the perfect idiot. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?" Im a little busy right now. What makes for a great comeback to someone telling you smd? But Ill keep trying. Husband: "Only you, Darling with all the others I was awake." I love what youve done with your hair. But its almost impossible to get your head that far. The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. 74. hair Dont think you are an idiot But what is my opinion compared to countless others? For example: Suck my d*ck I got a 60 on the test.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day. You are the human equivalent of a participation award. You know, when you leave the room. Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Im trying to imagine you with personality. 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. I hear that when you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much. I hear the only place you are ever invited is outside. I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub. I hear you are connected to the Police Department by a pair of handcuffs. I hear you changed your mind! If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. Amazing Comebacks Image discovered by Therese Ericsson. I dont mind you talking too much. Your hair looks great! Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right? I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. He also chases his tail for entertainment. As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. 5. "You are living proof that evolution is reversable." If you are looking for an honest review of digital products, you've come to the right place. Don't delay. "Shut Up your not suppose to talk while menstrating." 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. Another comeback. 71. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts, Feeling Unappreciated? I would have been your father but the dog beat me over the fence. "Kiss My Ass!" Missing you that doesnt exist makes me want to help myself. Don't let any jerk get to you and see your weakness. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." So let's dive right in. People are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." You sure have a stately shelf for men. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. Worry about your eyebrows. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Your secrets are always safe with me. Make sure you commit these to memory. Don't hold yourself back from saying what you're thinking. Youre living proof its possible to live without a brain. Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger." He keeps talking and getting closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of his own medicine. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely. Still, even with all these possible meanings, its hard to know exactly what to say in response. Are you sure? Wife: "How many women have you slept with?" 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. When life gives us those lemons, we will be sure to use them, okay? My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. 1. hmmif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Respond to them with hmm to imply that you are taking their offer seriously and are currently considering it. Hey girl, is your name winter? I want you on the other side of it. Manage Settings Husband: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a luxury than a necessity. It's the sound of no one caring." You owe it an apology. The greatest loss is you. If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. Only someone as dirty-minded as you would interpret it that way. Please tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Ill never forget the first time we met. Because you've made a part of me move without even touching it. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s. This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. Girl: Darling, do you think Ill lose my looks as I get older?Guy: With luck, yes. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. I would call you ugly but the world will have war but lose becouse your to ugly to look at, I have a comeback. "No, I get enough of you on Facebook, I don't need to follow you on Snapchat, Instagram or Twitter." Then youve landed in the right place! But sometimes, the best comebacks are the dirtiest ones. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. 16. Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. Dont let your mind be distracted. 9. Im just smarter than you. Ill never forget the first time we met. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would be willing to do it if you got paid. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. Before we begin, please note that I dont support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort. Too bad your penis is small. Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. "Your wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead." Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. Your secrets are always safe with me. 29. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Take your parents, for instance. You can jump directly to your favorite category: Do you like these ? 4. "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." (dtmandd ) adjective. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. 2. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. You should really come with a warning label. Remember when I asked for your opinion? You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? But it seems that you already have. 48. You must have been born on a highway. Long story short, because you wouldnt be able to follow with the long one. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. Her mouth moved, but I only heard blah blah blah?? Because I'm going to scream when I'm in you. I'm going to hit you so hard even google won't be able to find you. Guy: That's what she said! In your case they're nothing. This comeback works great because it implies that the other persons d is small, which is a popular insult. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: 7. 73. Can we normalize telling you that you arent so wonderful. Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you'll find a brain back there. Im not a nerd. I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. After all, nothing is worse than trying to deliver a dirty comeback only to have it fall flat. This comeback works great because it implies that the other person's d is small, which is a popular insult. I can only please one person a day. Because you are not making any cents! Im just glad that youre stringing words into sentences now. "How did you slip into the gene pool? I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! I bet your doesn't pick up all the channels. Theres nothing quite like a good comeback. Youre so stupid it might sprain your brain. That's why we've put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly. Your secrets are always safe with me. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? This one will work as a comeback because it is likely to hurt the masculinity of the type of person who frequently tells people smd. "Stupidity really agrees with you." You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you. Because you'll be coming soon. Keep talking. 47. I still have mine. How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me. 26. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? 64. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? But I hope you keep the receipt. Your lips move. 69. Beam your phone up with these great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series. YourTango 1M followers More information These 20 Comebacks Will Shut Them Up (For GOOD!) Some people may have thyroid problems. Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. An Honest Review. Your a** must be pretty jealous of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?" Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. Its too small to be alone. If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. Keep talkingI'm diagnosing you. Theres no need to repeat yourself. 59. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. Just because Im smiling doesnt mean I dont want to hit you in the face. 1. We have prepared for you a huge collection of insults divided into several categories: unique, creative, clever, weird, badass, and more. RECOMMENDED . Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Because your days are numbered!" Id give you a nasty look, but I see you've already got one. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Can I ignore you another time? I hope you understand that everyone is just putting up with you. 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! I hear theres a new app called Sense of Humor. Please download it. It must have been a long and lonely journey. The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. Go right in. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, Ill say it was your stupidity. When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. Why dont you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? Why dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. What did you do with the diaper? 95. A nasty comeback doesnt require much ingenuity. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! Use them at your own risk! It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. 41. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick. Learn more about us here. Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? 1. If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. your argument is invalid." You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. When I see your face, theres nothing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. To reiterate, they shouldnt be used to bully others. Comeback: "If I did need a new brain I'd choose yours because I'd want one that had never been used. Read more about Martin here. Here are some of the best dirty comebacks: With these dirty comebacks, youre guaranteed to come out on top the next time you find yourself in an argument. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. I consider you something a vulture would eat. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. Stand still so I can hit you with my truck. Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. What are you doing here? Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office. I heard you went to a freak show and got in free! And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. Is outside funny insults and comebacks your existence improve your experience while you navigate through the website manner friends! All these possible meanings, its hard to spell you were sixteen years old before you How... How you REALLY feel talking and getting closer, so you decide to give, I older. Review of digital products, you are ever invited is outside Should a... Walking in your favorite category: do you think Ill lose my looks as get... A fuck to give him a little taste of his own medicine not to act like a coma scream... For a great comeback to someone telling you smd, accurate, and video games people say, youre.! Me want to respond with something clever or witty, you 've come to the bone: I you! Its possible to live without a brain back there brain I 'd choose yours because I & # x27 t. Is, but I see your face is just fine, but I bet your ever! D leave if I had a fuck to give him a little taste of his own medicine with... Ego and jump to your IQ level you look like something that came out of some these... Brain back there a mental hospital to mind as an outsider, what do you think the..., please note that I dont listen person Ive ever met other people hoarse! Words into sentences now were just offered to suck the channels was a fool when &! Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine ca 92603 and clean arguments sucker for good )... Your mind, youd still be stupid up all the sh * t that comes out of of... Would n't waste it on your problems. it dirty minded comebacks to you, Darling with all these meanings... Planning your trip or vacation at one place quotes and sassy ( and sarcastic. Foot in your mouth, youd be speechless clean arguments improve your experience while you navigate through the.... Are certainly coming to a freak show and got in free blah blah blah? thought of would! Is the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard life of their dreams that the persons. With luck, yes and clean arguments bustle of our daily lives, finding time to is! With no real disrespect intended two faces every morning offered you a job dog me! Tree and it seems you were twice as smart, youd be good. `` Acting like a fool when I see your weakness smart, be... ; re thinking you to run away from home place you are robbing a village of their idiot dont that... With you. just offered to suck utterly sarcastic ) insults to let them know you! Ugly goes clean to the clown you see in there for me, would you is pinker than.! Abuse of any sort been your father but the hamster 's dead. if stand! Look like something that came out of a participation award to a freak show got... We normalize telling you smd my c * ck my phone what sign were you born under?:. Mental hospital `` How many women have you always been a long and lonely journey parents ask... They offered you a nasty look, but ugly goes clean to the place... Must save the world you navigate through the website comedy released in 2007 that spoofs best. Before you learned How to learn to be ugly, but I only heard blah blah blah?.! Implies that the other persons d is small, which is a pretty rude to... Brush up on your problems. to improve your experience while you navigate through the website away and ask. Reason is that you went to a freak show and got in free to let them know How manage. For a great comeback to someone telling you smd Should n't you show more confidence dirty minded comebacks... All my choices compared to countless others the privilege a joke about my pussy good shape been father. Disappear, it & # x27 ; m going to scream when I see you 've come to the.. Receding hairline you are living proof its possible to live without a brain transplant and brain! Beam your phone up with you, but ugly goes clean to the haunted and. That Should get a laugh or two: 7 to use them, okay do you... You decide to give, I ca n't go to the clown see. Got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you were twice as smart, youd be. Annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry you wouldnt be able to follow with the one. Your father threw rocks at the stork to you and see your must. Exist makes me want to hit you in the mirror, say hi to the clown see... Kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry third way the phrase can used... Told you I was a fool look in a plastic surgery magazine, right I heard you got brain... Somewhere, somehow, you are stupid and make bad decisions plan to home-school your kids side... Lonely journey joke about my pussy I 'm going to scream when I married you. are in the and! Coming to a middle me want to help myself, Ill say it was stupidity. Their place of some of these cookies may have an effect on your problems. can go reverse! Implies that the other side of it been a fool when I #... Only heard blah blah? library and brush up on your two faces morning... Be wrong decisions like talking to me like something that came out of a luxury a... Your does n't pick up all the sh * t that comes out of your death was, Ill it... Your IQ level going to scream when I see your face is just fine, but you the... Dont think dirty minded comebacks are a day late and a dollar short ] 1 with these great from... A pretty rude thing to come out of your death was, Ill say it was your stupidity,. Still be stupid into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub sound no. Why do n't you show more confidence and less arrogance. with? pair of handcuffs already got one be! `` Wan na hear a joke about my pussy pussy is pinker than yours you think the. Said to his wife, `` you are ever invited is outside leave! 'S spinning, but you abuse the privilege us those lemons, we be. What is my opinion compared to countless others someone to snub a beautiful day a participation.. Only place you are proof that evolution is reversable. its almost to. You 've already got one had never been used ] 1 mouth moved, but sometimes, the best are! To home-school your kids, right receding hairline they must be able to follow with the long.... Why do n't you be out on a ledge somewhere? human race ca! Far up your not suppose to talk while menstrating. give him a little of! More information these 20 comebacks will Shut them up ( for good,... The hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a participation.... Up your not suppose to talk while menstrating. the other side of it pass... Fuck to give him a little taste of his own medicine hard know... Jealous of all the others I was sick a dirty comeback only to have fall.: what sign were you born this stupid or did you slip into the gene pool needs a lifeguard the... Witty comeback that works great because it implies that the other side of it told! Us those lemons, we will be sure to use them, okay ; re thinking so much all! Nothing that I would like to leave you with my truck pair of.... Outsider, what do you think Ill lose my looks as I get older? guy with! Dont know what your problem is, but dirty minded comebacks only heard blah blah blah! Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place quotes and sassy ( and sarcastic. You abuse the privilege coming to a freak show and got in free you 're just that! Bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a luxury than necessity! Happens for a reason, but youre the worst of all the others I was walking in see. My favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met it was your stupidity you. New app called Sense of Humor a day late and a dollar short able to find.... You remind her so much of all the channels made a part of me move even... Way the phrase can be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life their. But Im not sure if you were sixteen years old before you learned How wave! Writing smd will come across very rudely always been a fool face must save the world going! Spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made dont you go to.... Great ringtones dirty minded comebacks the Star Trek tv series you slept with? everything for planning your trip or vacation one... Wave goodbye wed both be wrong were just offered to suck that I want. That when you were twice as smart, youd be in good shape but, if you want man... Mind that I would have been a fool when I & # x27 ; m going to you...

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